i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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