Having a random hookup so left but love u
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
