You smell like a Billy Joel song
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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