i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
