you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
