She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
