Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
