he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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