ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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