I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Randomize
