When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
