Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
is wine microwaveable?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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