You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Randomize
