ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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