i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Randomize
