i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Damn victory sex feels great
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
