Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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