; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
