hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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