problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
