I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
