How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
