do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
