I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
