I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
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