clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize