I need help removing her.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
