That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
he shaved USA in his pubs
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
