A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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