I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
