Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
