I wanna passion pit in your ass
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Randomize
