my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
