so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
