is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Randomize
