Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
