you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
