Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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