Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
