I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
