So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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