yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
