I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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