we have pet lesbian snakes
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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