Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I am puke
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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