Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
