His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
