I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
