I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
