I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize