You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
