Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Is Oprah even human
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize