I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
vagina is talking i cant
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
