She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
