Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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