Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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