He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
You dont lie about slip and slides
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
