if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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