check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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