You're a womanizer and a bitch.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
