So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize